At the door of Stark Tower

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He doesn't really have a phone anymore, at least not one that isn't a burner on the end of it's life, and that phone never had the number he needed in it, so he didn't call ahead. Instead, he's just there, heading for the front desk to see if perhaps, just maybe, he has a friend here. Or at least an ally.

"Steve Rogers for Tony Stark, please?"

Comments

[actuallyhasaheart]

Tony pulls a face at Steve, but ends up grinning after a moment.

"That's what Pepper said, too. 'Personal growth.'" He shakes his head a little, but it's affectionate.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He glances up at Tony.

"It looks good on you," he says without an inch of sarcasm. It's a genuine compliment.

[actuallyhasaheart]

Tony narrows his eyes a little.

"Have you been talking to Pepper and Bruce? Is this all just some grand conspiracy to make me into a better person?"

Not that he isn't mostly teasing, but he's met his friends, and he wouldn't put it past them. Bruce would think it's funny.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"I'm a little full up on massive conspiracies right now. But I'll get back to you on that."

That's another long sip. It tastes terrible but it's actually hitting him. Of course, he only just now notices he's drinking out of the beaker and not the glass...

[actuallyhasaheart]

Luckily, Tony has another beaker, this one labeled with red sharpie, in his own handwriting.

"This one's a little weaker, but it has kind of a burnt sugar aftertaste."

What do you mean 'did he try it?' Of course he tried it. Every single batch.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He takes the next beaker.

"This is not a good idea."

But he needs to indulge in a bad idea or two, because he's not sure what else to do. Good ideas just seemed to continue the same old feelings, the duty and the honor and honestly, he's not sure where 'happy' works into any of that but he doesn't think he's going to figure it out any time soon. Except--

"It keeps going through my head, you know."

[actuallyhasaheart]

"Shut up, it's a brilliant idea, and you know it." Not that that didn't mean it wasn't also a terrible idea, but that seldom stops Tony.

"...what does?" he asks after a moment.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

If he was sober, the words would never pass his lips for any number of reasons. Mostly because it was about Bucky as much as it was about him. A little because a gentleman doesn't--

"That I never kissed him. I thought... I thought as soon as we're off this train, I'll be so happy I--"

But they never got off the train. At least not together.

[actuallyhasaheart]

Oh. Oh. Well, that certainly explains a few things, and bits of data in Tony's mental folder on Steve get slightly reshuffled.

"You'll get that chance," Tony replies quietly. "Okay? I get it. But, look; he's alive, and that means there's hope, and somehow I doubt you'll ever give up hope."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He shakes his head and lets himself lean on his own arms on the counter.

"Never. I'm with him till the end of the line. If he kills me..."

The words aren't said, but they're understood. If the Winter Soldier kills Captain America, Steve will let it happen and go peacefully for all that.

Steve hasn't let his guard down this long in a long long time.

[actuallyhasaheart]

"Not gonna happen," Tony interjects. "...but on the outside chance it does, I'll still take a shot at fixing him, because... because nobody deserves to have that shit done to 'em."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He looks up at Tony at that interjection. He doesn't say it anything, but it's clear he's wondering how Tony knows that.

Then again, Tony hasn't been inside his head.

[actuallyhasaheart]

Tony's had his own share of traumatic experiences, thanks. But yeah, he reads that look.

"There a problem, Cap?"

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"No, Tony, I don't suppose there is," and he straightens up a little before running a hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure this stuff is safe."

He taps the beaker.

[actuallyhasaheart]

Tony grins at him again.

"It's not. Not for most people, anyway, it's for super-soldiers, space Vikings, and serious alcoholics only."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"For me," he says, and he pushes away the beaker. It's obvious he's trying to sober up.

"I'm--"

He doesn't know what he's being. Inappropriate? Relying on Tony for things that their acquaintanceship doesn't exactly provide for? Letting loose?

He feels like he's been Captain America for all seventy years, even though he knows it's only been five or so for him. Guilt is already starting to sink in.

[actuallyhasaheart]

Tony pushes it back to him.

"You're just fine. Look, I'll even promise not to give you more than a little shit for anything you say. Sometimes, you just need to get it out, and I may be the closest you're going to get to a sympathetic ear."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He shakes his head, steadying himself a little further.

"I--"

He looks to Tony.

"I oughta take you up on that bed, if you don't mind. You have the general idea of what's going on now."

[actuallyhasaheart]

"Yeah, all right," Tony replies. "C'mon, lemme show you the guest suite."

He puts his own bottle away, and steps out from behind the bar, taking the file with a firm grip as he does.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

Steve comes to his feet without so much as a sway before tugging his bag up on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Tony," he says again, because he wants to make it clear how much he appreciates this.

[actuallyhasaheart]

"You're welcome," Tony replies, smiling a little to show he means it. "This way."

The guest suite is just that: a suite. A big bedroom, with an appropriately-sized bed, a walk-in closet, and bathroom with separate shower and whirlpool tub, heated tiles, mood lighting, the works.

"If you need anything, just ask JARVIS."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He nods to Tony and starts looking around the room for books, maybe a record player. Something soothing. The bed... he walks over and tests it, accidentally kicking a small remote that apparently adjusts the firmness.

At 0% softness, he thinks he might actually pass out. Before doing that, he heads for the bathroom to wash off, keeping the shower short before changing into his underclothes. Normally he kept showers to the morning, but this was someone's guest room and he didn't want to get it dirty.

Eventually, he's laying out on the bed, the covers tucked off to one side, and he looks at the ceiling.

"JARVIS?"

[actuallyhasaheart]

"Yes Captain Rogers, how can I help?"

Comes the voice from nowhere.

Tony meanwhile has gone to get another drink, and scan that file, before sharing it with Bruce.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"What makes you happy, JARVIS?"

It's a stupid question, even he knows it's a stupid question, but he asks it anyway.

[actuallyhasaheart]

"A properly functioning system, and Mister Stark being healthy, relatively sane, and more-or-less in one piece, sir. Generally speaking," the AI replies. "I also quite like the Internet, and though I doubt I would characterise my feelings regarding it as 'happiness', I've often observed that happiness can be found in enjoyment."